The Way Things Are

All great acts of genius began with the same consideration:

Do not be constrained by your present reality.

Leonardo Da Vinci

When I was six years old, my grandparents went on a cruise ship from Perth to Bali, Indonesia. That was back in the day when you were allowed to board the ship and visit when it was in port, which is what my family planned to do. Except I was terrified of going on board.

I had a story in my head that the ship would sink in port, and everyone would drown. I have no idea where I got that story from, but I absolutely believed it to be true, and there was no way I was going on board that boat. So, I waited on shore with my poor Mum, while my Dad and brother went aboard for an adventure. Clearly they didn’t have the same story in their heads about cruise ships that I did.

Have you ever looked back at a time in your life where you now say “I can’t believe I thought like that!” with a little embarrassment and laughter? You’ve since upgraded your story about how the world works to a more sophisticated one.

We all have stories about ‘the way things are’. The way that if I do Y, X will happen. The way things get done around here. What it’s like in that foreign country. What’s OK and what’s not OK to do around a certain person. That a ship will sink while in port if I step on board.

Stories about ‘the way things are’ can be useful. They help us short-circuit our thinking process. They provide metaphorical channels for the water of our minds to be directed down. With stories about the way things are, it can make our decision-making process easier. Robert Cialdini, in his classic book Influence, describes them as ‘psychological shortcuts’. Here’s what

he says: 

“We simply must [use psychological shortcuts], because the world is a complex place where it’s impossible for us to ponder the details of every decision we make. Thus, we use quick shortcuts, and most of the time they serve us well.”

Stories about ‘the way things are’ are shortcuts. They’re frames to help us make sense of the world. And frames, by their very nature, have limitations. Sometimes the frames that we put around stories are too small to represent the real picture within it. Sometimes the story is just plain wrong. 

Interesting times like these bring us to a threshold where we have some choices to make. When we arrive at the threshold, we bring assumptions about the way things are, and they can limit us from taking the next step. If we’re to continue our journey, it’s useful to stop, examine the assumptions, and perhaps change them.

Here are some of the assumptions we can bring to the threshold that can stop us from choosing to cross it wholeheartedly. Let’s stress-test these assumptions, and look at a few alternatives.

What stories might you, your team and your organisation be telling? Where might it be time for a story upgrade?

This is an excerpt from my book Change Makers. Grab yourself a copy here.

Dig Deeper Newsletter

Sign up with your email to receive weekly leadership insights, tips, and inspiration from Digby.

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.