Recently, I wrote about ‘Brules’. Brules are the rules you invent that stop you from doing what you really want.
Something else that can hold you back is what I call ‘tentacles’. Tentacles are the things that just make it harder to get the good stuff done. They suck onto you, causing heaps of friction, and they slow you right down.
Tentacles burn time, attention and energy. They’re things like:
- The to-ing and fro-ing of emails, or endless phone tag
- The effort it takes to arrange meetings with the five people you need to contact to get something signed off
- The to-do list you create for yourself at the end of a meeting, to be done sometime in the future.
- The meetings you feel you need to attend but add no value to you or others.
I started thinking about tentacles as I’d been doing a ‘Hell Yeah’ Audit, and was noticing that some of the work I’ve said ‘yes’ to in the past has felt so effortless. And some other work (thankfully not much) felt like it could have been a lot easier. I reckon that’s because that work had some tentacles on it. Way too many planning meetings, phone calls and email to get to where we needed to get to. Lack of clarity. Unclear priorities. Lurchy, messy, slow, frustrating. Blah.
When I do my best work, it doesn’t have tentacles on it. And I bet it’s the same for you. For example, over the past few months, I’ve been running a series of coaching conversations workshops for a client. Yesterday the client gave me feedback that I was very low maintenance to deal with, and that things just seemed to be on rails. I put that down to being explicitly clear at the outset about how things were going to run, automating the things that made sense to be automated, and nailing clear roles and responsibilities. Admin was minimised, and we were all focused on delivering the outcomes we wanted in the most effective way possible.
It was a joy to do the work. I was playing to my strengths, my client was happy, and participants got what they came for (and more). Nice.
Tentacles arise because of the choices we make. The choices we make arise from the way we think. Tentacles love a fuzzy mindset.
If you’re not clear about what you want, the way you can best add value, and what your boundaries are, the tentacles will inevitably find a way to suck on.
How To ‘Detentacle-ise’
Existing Tentacles: the ones that you already have to deal with.
- Audit. Do a ‘Hell Yeah Audit’. For the commitments that don’t make the ‘Hell Yeah’ grade, go to the next step.
- Prune: Your job here is to get rid of the tentacles as effectively as you can. Categorise them:
- Do: Some you might just need to do now, and be done with them. Make it fast. Move on.
- Delegate: Some tentacles rightly live with someone else. Have the conversations you need to have to hand them over.
- Renegotiate: Some tentacles might have some flex in them around their urgency or level of detail required. Ask the question.
- Dump: Some tentacles just don’t need any attention. Dump them.
(If you recognise these ‘D’s, you’ll know they’re derived from Dave Allen’s Getting Things Done work).
Incoming Tentacles: the ones that will suck on to you at the next opportunity.
- Think about what sort of tentacles might ensnare you. Decide what your priorities, boundaries and offers will be. Know what you will say and do when they rear their head. Remember, ‘No’ is not enough.
- Be vigilant for tentacles. If you’ve done your homework, you’ll spot them a mile off and be ready when they try to latch on.
- When a tentacle arises, get on the front foot. Make it clear how you’ll play. Do it in service of effective outcomes, and you’ll usually find the other party will agree.
Earlier this week, I had a client ask to book a planning meeting for an upcoming workshop I’ll be running in a couple of months. Rather than try to find a clear time, I suggested we do it immediately following an earlier workshop I’m running with her next week, while we’re in the same room together. She agreed immediately – it was the obvious and easiest solution. No tentacles there!
Tentacles slide off with a healthy, assertive dose of priorities and boundaries. Get clear on yours and get rid of those tentacles!
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